What is my Isaac?

For the past few days, I get to encounter this line at most times: “LET GO OF YOUR ISAAC.” I can’t help but think about it.

As Carissa and I were on our way home… I shared with her those words that have been bothering me for days.

ME: “They keep telling me about letting go of my Isaac, but I don’t even know what my Isaac is.”

CARISSA: “Isipin mo yung isang bagay na nagpapasaya sayo na kailangan mong pakawalan kasi yun ang dapat.”(Think of something that makes you happy but has to let go because it is the right thing to do.)

I was silent for a moment… then she went on…

CARISSA: “I’ve been there, God told me to let go of my Isaac and si _____ ang Isaac ko. I obeyed, it wasn’t easy but still I obeyed and I’m glad I did. God gave me something better.”

On my way home, Carissa’s words sank in to me… I keep repeating those lines in my mind: “Let go of my Isaac” while trying to reflect on my life at the very moment. I know in my heart that I have to let go of something… but I just don’t know what it is.

Then a certain scenario flashed my mind. I was torn between two options. I guess this is what it’s all about. And I realized that this has been goin’ on for quite a time now, and I guess I really have to make a decision now… I have to get out of my comfort zone once again and face the upcoming events of my life. I have to give up what I have been holding on for some time now, start another level of maturity. Accepting that, it is just not the right time for me to have what I have always wanted, I have to let God decide unto which road to take.

That was my Isaac… giving up the thing that mattered so much to me, and allowing God to take control of my life.

Sour Lemon... Sweet Lemonade...

One can choose to whine about how sour can a lemon be, how one's face pucker because of it, and yet continue to taste that sour lemon because that's the way it has always been… instead of making a fuss about that lemon who would always be sour? One can choose to simply find another way of enjoying that lemon... squeezing the juice perhaps... add sugar... makes lemonade.

It’s not about how sour the lemon is. It’s about how one deal with it and makes use of the sour lemon. It’s like staying out of the comfort zone… staying out of what it has always been… if one knows that it hurts, one can always find a way to transform that hurt into something better. Why linger on something not rewarding when one can move on to something more worthwhile?

Everybody hurts… but one does not have to keep on hurting just because the person is already consumed by it. Everybody has that sour lemon… but one can always make lemonade out of that sour lemon. It’s a matter of deciding and deciding fast.

Reflecting on it

For Weeks, I have been grappling for ideas… making myself to write, finding inspiration in writing… exploring good things to write about.

Its been a while, I wonder how well I have become… have I been the person I want to be? I am in the place where I really want to be?

And it made me question myself… is this what I want? What do I really want?

Witnessing a Ritual

It was early morning, just before I start my interview with Manobo Tribal Leaders in Esperanza, Agusan del Sur, Datu Makalipay and Datu Mandagase started the day with a ritual first... this is to bless me before I start my task that it may be fruitful.

They have prepared a Betel Nut, tokens, wine, a lighted candle and a native chicken used for rituals. They started to rant in their dialect. Then after the whole ritual, I observed Datu Makalipay pour water at the four corners of the offering.

"This is to invite the spirit to wash hands and join a meal with us." He said.

That's what they call "panawagtawag"

It's Your Life... Face It!!!

"its okay to rest... giving up is another thing"

Everyone is entitled to a life of its own… one’s success or failure does not depend on the people around him/her… but rather how he/she chose to live his/her life. “Life is what we make it,” such a cliché yet it mean so much.

One can make a move on an impulse and before you know it… it already changes a life. Perhaps it is right to say that every move one makes can either make or break its life. Indeed, coming up with decisions isn’t always easy like the usual days… sometimes, its hard to come up with one when you know a lot of things is at stake… you weigh things up over and over again… until you still cant come up with a right decision. So you weigh it up again. Perhaps, you really just have to make a decision now and get ready for the scenarios. Let those people who are meant to get hurt be hurt… let those people who are meant to get mad be mad… just let things be. In the end, things will fall to its place.

Face it… life is filled with imperfections… failures and hurts are part of it… just as success and joy also have their part. What works for someone may not work for another… one is different from the other. So you have to deal with it. Sometimes going beyond what is conventional can even put a direction to person’s life… (I’m not insinuating rebelliousness here…I’m just stating the reality of life.) Just because a son or daughter decided to leave home, it already makes him or her the ungrateful son or daughter… just because a person chose to live beyond the norm, it already make him or her less that of a person… just because a person is silent, it already makes him/or her a person without substance… just because a person finds it hard to have good diction, it already makes him/her dim-witted.

In this world… there will always be people who talks behind someone’s back… some would even throw insults right through someone’s face… there will be people who puts judgment on the things someone does who for them seem so unlikely.

It doesn’t matter how wrong you have been… it doesn’t matter how you have messed things up. What matters is you’ve learned from your mistakes and you’re willing to give your self the chance to make things right again… go on with your life… along the way… people may not approve the things you feel is worth the risk… just do your thing… stand your ground… never lose your character. Because when all the things around you seem to fail… it would not be so hard to get up again… because you know who you are.

Active Saturday: Busy ME

• took a shower at 430am. Had coffee, sausage and toast for breakfast. I was preparing for a Meeting with the Manobo Community of San Toribio, Esperanza, Agusan del Sur.
• Arrived at the place at 9:10 in the morning, had a chat with “Datu Makalipay” with regards to the Agenda of the meeting – CADT Application together with the National Commission for Indigenous People, and discuss about the things needed to be done and plan the activities in the processing of the Tribe’s claim.
• Traveled back to Butuan at 1:44 in the afternoon, where my friend, Mona is currently waiting for me at my place, she arrived in Butuan all the way from Manila this morning at 10:20 in the morning, today.

Manic Monday: Meeting with Mayor

I had a very early morning... I left for the office at 530 am, had a 30 minute ride from my place to the office. And prepared everything I would be needing for the meeting with the Mayor of the Municipality of Esperanza, Agusan del Sur.

After 3 hours of travel, I finally able to reach the mayor’s office. Indeed their Mayor is approachable and kind different from how I pictured her to be. She was so accommodating and even offered to be of help in our project.