Under The Stars in a Cold Night

"She looked at the sky and gaze at the stars… it was wonderful… and definitely look peaceful in the middle of the night. Then tears fell from her eyes. She thought that everything about it was so good and that everything should be good… but it wasn’t that way… because her heart bleeds."

redhead on: Finding My Dwelling

Why do I feel this way? I took a deep breath and yet I still chase for more air… I don’t want to think about anything but something inside me wants to remember something, or perhaps wants me to welcome something. Whatever it is? I have no idea… it could be something totally new, or something that brings familiarity, or even something challenging.

The question is… am I even ready for anything right now? Am I ready for these changes?

I heard someone said, “You have to be ready to embrace whatever comes along… be adaptable.”

It pays to be adaptable. I am aware of that. Its just that this is one of those moments when I feel so scared about things… like those moments when I needed strong words that will help me fill my confidence tank that will somehow give me enough strength to handle what comes along and handle it wisely.

-rhon-

A Girl Named Rai

Meet Rai-Rai, an 18 year-old Mamanwa, and she’s proud of it. I met her last June 2008 when I started working in the Philippine Association for Intercultural Development (PAFID) Inc.

She is sweet and thoughtful, always wear a smile and her laugh is very contagious. She lightens up the crowd.

I once had a talk with her one night, and she shares with me her experience before the kind hearted employees of PAFID helped her with her Education.

During her early years, she would walk 4 kilometers a day to reach school, and there were even times that she has to attend school not caring if she has food as long as she can attend the class.

But what is so remarkable about her is that she is determined to finish school and to make something out of herself someday. She’d do everything just to finish school, support family and to be of service to her tribe. She is a Mamanwa, and she is proud to be one. And you know what? I am proud of her too.

A Man Who Made The Difference

At this moment, I am so inspired by life’s wonders. This moment teaches me that even handicaps can be extraordinary… indeed I am inspired by the life of a man who once said that “You don’t have to be handicapped to be different, everybody is different.” The guy who has been the inspiration in the award winning movie: “Rain Man”, the real Raymond Rabbit… Kim Peek.

He can finish reading EIGHT BOOKS in ONE DAY… or read a SINGLE PAGE in just TEN SECONDS. Imagine that. Amazing, isn’t it? What’s more remarkable is that… everything he read since THREE years old were preserved. And to think he was diagnosed to be mentally retarded. And that the doctors recommend him to be put to an institution. But his parents stand with their son and took care of him.

Based on the research, by the UC San Francisco, Kim has a different brain structure… he doesn’t have a division on his brain like most normal brains (it doesn’t have a left and right brain), He has a great memory when it comes to information, however, he has deficits when it comes to THEORY OF MIND (the ability of a person to understand what the other person is thinking) meaning he doesn’t know how to conceptualize. He can give you facts about different events, politics, numbers… but he can’t explain why.

He is just one example of a person who has savant autism. Until now, the reason unto why individuals experience this kind of defect is still not known. And up to this date, there is still no cure for it.

I admire the patience and effort Fran Peek gave to his son. Indeed it is not easy taking care of Kim 24 hours a day. And yet he did it anyway… out of his love for Kim. They worked hand in hand to inform the world about autism and be an example to those parents who has kids with autism.

Their story brought learning to me… Kim Peek, on his own way was able to make an important role in the world, because of him being autistic. He had opened people’s eyes to look at individuals with autism with respect and understanding. He did his part. And he was good at it.

If people like Kim Peek can make a difference, why can’t we do the same? In our own simple ways, we can make things happen.

No Fear... I have Faith

Hi guys!!! before I work on my script... I'd like to share what I learned today... I have discern a great lesson today... it was an enlightenment... and it indeed gave me high hopes to look onward despite the difficulties I am going through right now.

Ayyi and I went on for a walk and both agreed to have an Ice Cream so we headed on a restaurant... and we delighted ourselves with a chocolate parfait. (hmmm... so sweet!!!) It's not really everyday that you get the chance to see an inspiration from other people... and I had that chance today... and I am thankful that I had that moment with Ayyi.

I was kinda surprised to hear that someone we knew is really into some difficulty... more than that of I am experiencing at the moment... but it doesnt seem to be visible in her eyes... she is a picture of a light hearted person... she is so cheerful and so down to earth that I didn't know she is facing a great challenge in her life... from her, I gained an inspiration... She inspired me to look at life with high hopes... she reminds me that I am not the only person going through so much difficulty... and that no matter what a person is going through... how one look at things makes the difference. She looked at life with a spark in her eyes despite the challenges. I believed, that moment was for me... a moment for me to look at my life with a smile on my face... believing that things will fall just fine... as said... "if fear knocks on the door of your heart, send faith to open it and you will be free from distress."

--Rhon--

My Moment

"Count your Blessings... face life with gratitude"

Sometimes, when we feel entirely depressed about the situation we are in, we try to hold on to it a little longer, thinking it would somehow ease the pain. And in times like this, it is indeed so hard to look at things with a spark in our eyes when you feel your heart is deeply mourning...

But what we somehow neglect, is that even those moments when we are in pain, is a blessing. It may be hard to understand when we are in a hurtful situation... but as the moment fades, you'll then realize that it is a great blessing indeed. It is in this moment when we feel pain that we are given the chance to have a thorough reflection... both mind and heart. A moment, when we learn the lesson of humility and endurance... a perfect moment to understand those people who have also been experiencing pain... a perfect moment to reach out to those people who is in dire need for company... as they said, "who is more to understand someone in pain, than that who also experience the same way".

I myself couldn't look at things with gratitude sometimes when I feel really bad... and all I want is to pamper that hurt by locking myself in my room and cry it out thinking it would do me good. Sometimes, it does it help, but crying it out over and over again is like running in circles and not moving on.

I had that moment of pain... and it took me a while to realize that I am just finding an excuse to face the real situation of the matter... and the only way that helped me get through the dilemma of getting out of the comfort zone, is a moment spent with isolation and a prayer. A way of clearing my mind and heart of the negative emotions and thoughts running over me... also a moment to grasp good thoughts through prayers...

This day is indeed important to me... because I am looking beyond my "thinking only of myself" and think about the other who needs me the most.

--rhon--

How do you Build Broken Relationships?

There are times when circumstance hit us so hard, that we feel really broken. It comes unexpectedly... and when it comes, things are not the same again... and there is no way you can go back to the way things have been. Sometimes the result can be very painful that you end up with nothing but broken relationships.

Where do we go when everything else falls apart? How do you keep yourself back on your feet when your strength has left? So you see. Things are different, and you realized that people you know are not really the person you thought they were, even if you know them all your life. And you end up getting hurt even more.

You tried so hard to make things okay, but with all the effort, everything seems to be useless, because no matter what you do, things will never be the same again. How do you brace yourself to still continue to live your life with a smile on your face, when you know that deep inside, you are deeply shattered? Why do you have to forgive someone, who doesn't even ask for it? How do you forget? How do you start all over without remembering that painful past? How do you look at someone without a picture of yesterday that caused you to change? How do you build broken relationships?